Memories have flooded back, flashing up different events and situations that have been locked away like time capsules in my head. Thousands of tiny fragments, made up of images, conversations, arguments and feelings of real discontent, burst like fireworks in front of my eyes; bringing on pangs of agony. Each one, a reminder of how much and how deep I let him cut me, with his words and behaviour. But now each little chink makes me question why I took on the responsibility of his actions, rather than blaming him. Maybe, I thought it was easier to do this, just so that in my mind I could be free, but in actual fact, I have been punishing myself by taking on his army of demons.
Because it’s often at these times that I am at my most creative.
So I am going to promise myself that each day, I do something that makes me ‘feel good in my soul’, which can’t be a bad thing!