Sunday, 7 December 2014

Red letter day!

Today, I read the last letter I wrote to
myself about 4 months ago.  It is the second time I have done this, and I find it an invaluable means of bookmarking my life.  

It also useful for measuring if anything has changed, got better or stayed the same.  But it is more importantly, a reminder from myself about a period of time I want to move on from.

It might sound like a very simple thing to do, writing a letter to yourself; but if you are being completely honest with yourself, it is far from it.  It is hard to put real words to emotions or feelings, that can sometimes be so alien to us, and delving into our inner psyche and soul is not something to take on lightly. 

You can discover so much about yourself and the reasons why you might behave a certain way or have a certain attitude.  So, if you really want to know yourself better, write it down, the good and the bad, then take a good look at it, and really think about it.  You will find answers, but you need to give yourself time, to absorb this new information.



Anyway, back to my letter, I read it this morning and I was quite overwhelmed by the contents.  I remember at the time, I was so in need of nurturing , love and care, I was also in a lot of pain and pretty much lost and alone. 

It was a very positive letter, just talking about my future, when I will finally move on from the existence I’ve had and still have now.  It was about recognizing my acceptance of things that I can’t change, and the acknowledgement of the misery I had experienced, and the dreams I still have left. 

It was powerful reading.  I was being kind to myself for once. I smiled, and then eventually cried as I read.  It was a beautiful letter, penned by me, to me. 

Only I know of the subtle changes that have taken place over recent months.  I alone, have noted the true power of my self-belief, and my determination to bring about change. 

So today I have been reminded, and have been able to measure, that emotionally and psychologically, I have advanced forwards, by quite a distance. 


But physically, I am sadly still waiting to move on to my new life.  This is the one thing, for which I have absolutely no control.  Sx