Monday, 4 May 2015

We're done...

I am pleased to say that on Friday 17th April, I began living, my "new life"!

And all I have to say is " I am already much happier, than I have ever been before".

Everything has changed, and I am so at ease and at peace within myself.

I have settled in as best I can, amidst all the chaos that I was left with.  I am no where near unpacked or sorted, but I can cope with my current situation, because I know it will not be too long before all is put right.   That's when  I will come into my own again, as I go about creating my new nest.  It will be the opportunity I have been waiting for, to reawaken my many dormant skills and talents, as I dress and furnish this place, into the tranquil, harmonious sanctuary that it is destined to become, i.e. my home.

I will paint me a sign to hang by the door, suggesting that people leave their stress and negative thoughts outside, before they step over my threshold.  I will not tolerate those crippling thoughts any more, and I certainly do not need to hear it, from anyone.

My life ... is quiet.
My life ... is calm.
My life ... is peaceful.

I do not need unnecessary noise right now, nor do I need to someone to tell me what they would do, or worse still, what I should do.  After all, why should they suddenly develop voices now, when not that long ago they were all so silent.  I don't want someone else taking credit for my decisions and choices, as if they played a big part in the process.  Because I can only remember being on my own, when it mattered.

There have been times, when I have made to feel as though being single again has fucked up my brain.  That divorce has rendered me incapable of making any sound judgments, because there's no man around now.  They have forgotten about the things I have done in past, well and truly on my own; and I don't enjoy that feeling or in fact appreciate, what they consider to be their offer of 'help'.  I am not being ungrateful, because I understand that they care for me, but they have also forgotten to see that I am there.

They seem to think that it is now that I am broken.  Sx